Why Love Marriages fail in Pakistan By Tahira Rubab

Marriage surely is one of the most beautiful relationships where people not only accept another person to be a part of their lives but also their likes, dislikes, nature, and habits become a part of their life too.

Divorce rates have visibly risen in Pakistan over the last few years. There are a number of common reasons why marriages fail in Pakistan however, some of them are completely overlooked. Here is a look at what they are and why they matter.

1.Non Realistic Approach 

It is easy to find a Pakistani man who wants his wife to be as attractive as the next Miss Universe and yet expects her to be submissive, quiet, shy, good at getting the chores done and the kind who wouldn’t mind living in poverty!

Similarly, quite a few Pakistani women too behave strangely and expect their husbands to be rich and handsome and yet they are the kind who are ready to comply with whatever demands they have. Take a closer look and it would be pretty obvious that young adults in the country end up being influenced by what they see in the media and hence, without even realizing build expectations that come out of fantasies and lack logic.

Individuals begin to lose hope and begin looking for someone else to meet their dreams as soon as the honeymoon period is over and as soon as they understand that their partner is not the ideal person that they had been looking for.

2.Financial problems 

Another problem is the working women as most of the desi men don’t want their wives to work and as a result, it is hard to meet the family demands with the only single earning member in the family. The outcomes of these financial constraints are severe as they bring tension and depression between the spouses due to increasing demands and lack of resources.

“In desi marriages, the bride not only has to understand the groom but also has to maintain an understanding with his family. Along with this, she is also expected to do all the household work alone like cooking, washing dishes, cleaning home, taking care of her parents in law and in some cases brothers and sisters of her husband too. Therefore one cannot ignore the importance of understanding between the two families and the environment of their homes when deciding to marry.”

Therefore, for a happy marriage, it is quite important that both the persons share their choices, goals in life and their expectations before committing anything since a broken marriage is worse than any broken commitment.

 If there is a need, both the partners should support the home by working and if your wife is supporting your house, this is something to be proud of rather than being ashamed. And in-laws do not necessarily have to consider the daughter in law as a daughter but they can at least consider her as a human being, as a family member, and as a friend.

3.Lack of Guidance

Parents in Pakistan do everything for their children but they don’t even recognize the fact that providing relationship guidance and preparing their kids to sustain a marriage too is their responsibility.

Most young adults hence, following their wedding find themselves in an uncomfortable position and with no idea of how to manage pressures that come with a marriage, they decide to move out of the relationship.

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About the Author 

Tahira Rubab  a Relationship Counsellor and Sex Therapist .If you’ve got a relationship worry you’d like some help with, please call us at 0311 4482787

 

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